Chapter 1 : The Chance Encounter

"Love Doesn't Mean Inseparable - It means Separated and Nothing Changes"

Just like my other mornings, I walked into my lily garden with my large mug of steaming hot tea. I looked around those white gorgeous young flowers-clean white petals with green and black seeds protruding out. Some had completely bloomed while some still developing buds. 

I took my usual seat at the east end of the garden with the soothing Sunrays touching my right cheek and neck. With my family still sleeping peacefully, this was the time I have reserved for me, solely with my lilies. These blooming flowers bring me hope and the snow-white spread petals with fresh green leaves give calmness to my loneliness. 

While I took a slow sip from my tea mug, a light cold breeze touched my hair, pulling out some loose strands on the ears. I kept my tea mug on the front table and looked up at the sky. The Sun has taken a step more, a little higher. I can feel the warm rays touch my face. A fresh dash of eastern breeze touched my lily plants and they swayed slowly filling the garden in fresh fragrance. 

I held out my palm towards the nearest lily flower and it cheerfully swayed touching my rough fingers. The tenderness of the moment reminded me of him.  The way he had tried to hold my hand last evening clouding my mind with the desires that I thought we lost forever. 

I looked at my empty palms with a hard lump formed in my throat. I desperately looked around, searching for something that would calm the storm that was shaking my life, my soul and my heart in astray.

'Should I wait or Just leave and pose ignorant?' my mind kept wondering while I stepped out of the train. Almost spontaneously I looked back searching for his face hidden among the massive crowd trying to get on the waiting vehicle. 

I couldn't trace him. He was lost again. 

'Alas! It ends like this!', I released a long-held breath and turned towards the exit point. 

Walking down the road towards my home evoked a gigantic cyclone of emotions under the sea of my own thoughts. 

Meeting him has always been memorable in every way. 

But today, after six definite years of imposed separation and solitude, it just brings out a flood of emotions I can hardly interpret.   

No, it is not an accident that I met him today. We planned. I planned to meet him finally. 

Married for nine long years, yet every passing festival has been a disaster for me. Living away from my home city, I had made a home of my own in a foreign country with unknown faces, strange rules, and invariant ambiance. 

But my life wasn't any different there. Locked up in my husband's insecurities and suspicions, my life revolved around the walls of my own made home. Even my breathe bounced back at me sometimes, reminding me of the times when I lived.  

Suddenly he came, giving my heart that beat I had forgotten completely. With him came the belonging, the affection, the attention, the importance and every emotion that had become blurred with time. 

He showed me great confidence when he shared his personal pain with me. I could feel my heart beating again. My loneliness found a partner and my emptiness found that missing part. 

Ryan, the first love I have always kept hidden. The only love who had been a great friend. The person who has touched my soul without touching my body and the only person who has touched me with everything he has done. 

Some commitments, some misunderstandings, pain, and some unknown facts moved us apart. For years I have not talked to him just to keep him away. Missing him every time I felt alone, pained and lonely. I knew he was living a happy life and suddenly he came after years and I know the truth. 

He was never happy. Just like me, he is lonely and empty. But still, he knows his boundaries. And I fell for him again. This time more intensely. 

My thoughts were broken by the loud doorbell. I picked up the half-filled cup of tea that has turned cold and walked inside towards the door. Another day has just started.